.png)
7 Mistakes Couples Make That Can Destroy A Marriage
Many marriages today are struggling, with financial stress pushing some relationships to the edge. Marriage is undeniably hard work, but it's worth every effort. As someone who has mentored countless couples and trained thousands more in marriage mentoring, here are the top seven mistakes I see couples make repeatedly. They may seem minor at first, but over time they can cause lasting harm.
Mistake 1: Following Your Emotions
Emotions are real but not always reliable—they need guidance, not blind following.
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
Mistake 2: Leaning On A Friend
Support from friends can seem harmless, but if that friend doesn’t encourage you in God’s ways, it’s a risk to your marriage.
1 Corinthians 15:33
"Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’"
Mistake 3: Thinking the Grass Is Greener
Leaving your marriage won’t leave your problems behind. Wherever you go, unresolved issues follow. Instead, focus on nurturing the marriage you’re in.
Philippians 4:11-12
"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound."
Mistake 4: Believing Divorce Will Not Impact Your Children
Research shows divorce profoundly impacts children’s well-being—grades, mental health, self-esteem, and their future relationships are all affected. I have counseled many children of divorce; they may survive, but rarely do they thrive without scars.
Deuteronomy 11:19
"You shall teach them (God's ways) to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way."
Mistake 5: Tuning Out God’s Voice
As believers, we should be living out a different reality than the culture around us. Seek God’s wisdom through scripture, prayer, and godly friends. Don’t turn a deaf ear to His guidance.
James 4:8
"Come near to God, and he will come near to you."
Mistake 6: Seeking Support on Social Media
Social media can quickly become a destructive source of validation. Rarely will anyone online urge you to turn to God and restore your marriage. Many people, in their loneliness, find false comfort—and even emotional affairs—online, which often lead down a destructive path.
1 Peter 5:8
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."
Mistake 7: Shutting Down
Withdrawing may feel like self-protection, but it can appear hostile to your spouse. Instead, work through tough emotions by talking openly and respectfully. Face issues with love and commitment, and work to resolve them together.
Acts 28:25-27
25 They disagreed among themselves and began to leave after Paul had made this final statement: “The Holy Spirit spoke the truth to your ancestors when he said through Isaiah the prophet: 26 “‘Go to this people and say, “You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.” 27 For this people’s heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’
If You're Doing or Thinking Any Of These Things, It's Time to Change!
Sometimes we avoid change thinking that the pain of correcting behavior is going to be so great that we wind up settling for discomfort that we already know. So often, nothing changes until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of changing. But, don’t put off change if you have been making these mistakes. It might be painful, but preserving your marriage and taking it to a better place, is well worth the pain and effort!
Visitor Comments (0)
