Last week I spoke to wives about being gentle, this week I want to target husbands.
1st Peter 7 tells husbands to be considerate with their wives, treat them as heirs
with you regarding the gracious gift of life.
Why would God tell husbands to be considerate of their wives? Because it's not natural.
Men go to work 8 hours a day (or more) and have special DNA from God to be warriors, builders,
project drivers, leaders, providers, and protectors. Not that women can't fill those roles but
men have special DNA from God for such things. (even though our culture would argue that there is
no difference between men and women)
With that, I think men can be inconsiderate. We can overlook the emotional kaleidoscope operating inside our wives. God made women with a unique super-power of emotion. With billions of tentacles, a mother can connect with a child with greater depth, with abundant softness and nurturing. It's beautiful to see. Some women tell me it's a
gift and a curse because with their supernatural emotional power it brings with it some baggage. More highs and more lows.
In walks a husband after a long day of work, "Tammy, where's dinner?" He was unaware of her crazy day, worrying about
the kid's meals, homework, her 8-hour job, the laundry, her sick mother and taking care of two dogs and a cat.
Dan wasn't angry, he was just asking a question, "Where is dinner?". It was and should be an insensitive question with poor timing. Dan didn't even
attempt to consider her day, her needs, her emotions, her wants or wishes.
Tammy blew up and called him a few choice words as she stormed out. Dan scratched his head and mumbled, "What a crazy woman."
He added insult to injury. Peter said, "HUSBANDS, pay attention, be considerate with your wife°"
I will say it a different way, stop trying to understand her and BE understanding. Huge difference.
When she is sad, lonely, down, blue, distant, hurt, angry, confused, quiet, don't try to fix her, question her, or figure her out. Simply put your arms around her and close your mouth. "Hold wife, shut mouth." You may want to memorize that.
Try to create habits when you come home from work. As soon as you walk in the door, "Hey babe, how was your day?", "You doing ok?", "Is there anything I can do to help your evening?".
I promise you, she doesn't want you to GIVE UP everything, she just wants a little bit on a consistent basis.
Pam is one of the hardest working people I have ever met. I have discovered that when I tune out the world and connect with her one night a week, she feels supported. She isn't needy but she has needs.
Maybe your wife is needy, to you. That's ok. Let the Lord guide you in becoming a servant, your life gets happier, healthier and more
"Hold wife and shut mouth".
See what happens.
To learn more on building your marriage click here.