WHY YOUR VALENTINE'S DAY MATTERS

Everywhere you look, love seems to be in the air. Red and pink hearts adorn every store, and it’s as if the world runs on chocolates and roses. But if you find yourself barely tolerating your partner, feeling less than cherished, you might be asking, “How can I enjoy Valentine’s Day when I don’t feel loved?” It’s a fair question.

If your life feels burdened by your spouse’s betrayal, addiction, or behavior patterns that never seem to improve beyond a day, Valentine’s Day might look more like, "Well, we stayed married for another day. Hooray!" Let me just say — that’s something to celebrate.

Yes, love is easier when it’s reciprocated: when they do the little things, like the laundry or a kiss on the cheek, alongside the bigger gestures of respect, empathy, and commitment. But any love story worth telling is built on forgiveness, patience, and unconditional love.

This kind of love says, “I choose you, through the good times and the bad, when it’s easy and when it feels like you're tearing out a piece of my heart.” This reflects what Jesus did for us: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

Marriage, as the Bible shows us, is about undeserved, all-in love. So, this Valentine’s Day—if you choose to embrace it—can be an opportunity to honor your spouse who may be difficult to love or who perhaps doesn’t “deserve it” right now.

What might it look like to honor your spouse when marriage feels hard?

Ask God to show you what He would have you give to your spouse that would mean the most to Him. And this may not be something you can wrap or put a bow on. It might mean giving your all to this relationship.

Perhaps it’s giving up a habit that divides you, the one you know you don’t want to let go of. Maybe it’s about choosing forgiveness.

What kind of hard, gritty heart-work could God be asking of you toward your spouse?

Write Your Own Personal Greeting Card

Express your commitment to your spouse, no matter the challenges you’ve faced together. Here’s an example:
"It’s been a tough season for us. But that’s even more reason to remind you that I believe in us. I choose us. I’m devoted to you and our marriage in both the good and the hard times. I choose to love you for life."

You might even include a small gift card to a coffee shop or their favorite restaurant with a message: “Let’s spend some time remembering how good we are together.”

Invest in Your Relationship

Great marriages don’t just happen; they’re built. Consider setting aside time for real conversations, understanding, and forgiveness. Maybe it’s a commitment to a monthly date night for the next six months, marked on the calendar to show you’re serious.

Or perhaps it’s finally booking that weekend getaway, coordinating the details, and making it clear that this is just the start. Tell them, “This is a down payment. I’m committed to working on us, because we’re worth it. You’re worth it. And I believe in a God who’s bigger than anything we’re going through.”

I hope this encourages you as we enter a season of celebrating Valentine’s Day, loving those near and dear to us—the way God does.